When it comes to clothes I was always made aware that you have to dress nice ( and have full hair and makeup done) even if you just go to the grocery store. 

The switch that changed that mindset for me was my first ever trip alone on the plane to Vancouver, Canada.  I was staying with an British born ( Irish by decent) wife, Yugoslavian husband and their daughter born in Canada. At first it was hard to break the habit of ALWAYS being put together, but once I did it was so liberating. The wife would tease me about it, because she lived a bit in Yugoslavia when they were first married and was aware of our mentality.  I started dressing up if I felt like it ( which in actuality was most of the time)and not if I didn’t feel like it.  I’ve learned a lot in that month and change, but mostly how to be my true self. 

When I was in my early 20s I was dressed under the SATC influence. If you’re a young adult reading this believe when people tell you : you’ll never look this good! Women are constantly beating themselves up about not looking a certain way and the society adds so much pressure to that, but from this point of view I understand how beautiful youth is. Maybe that’s why there’s a constant search for eternal youth, though it only comes in its true form once in a lifetime: when you’re young! I digressed a bit, but it’s important to keep that in mind. Back to my early 20s, the good times. My mother is in principle quite conservative, but a bit less so when it comes to clothes. I was always encouraged by her to wear whatever I felt the best in. There was never a notion that I’m dressing up for anyone but myself. There were some very risqué choices back then ( no regrets) because I was young and you can pull off just about anything then.  

However, since I was an early bloomer when it comes to my body development, I was made aware that certain clothes will attract certain ( very much unwanted) attention. That was the only kind of attention I was not interested in attracting. I have been an entertainer my whole life, but this was not fun or funny. We now live in an Age Of Consent and I’m glad about it, because you can still be you and have people be respectful of it. 

As the years went by my body changed and now I’m dressed in a way that’s appropriate to my different body type and age, but still without anyone’s input or regard to others opinion. 

Now to what each of us consider to be ‘appropriate’ or not is a whole different story. In your private life I’d say you should wear whatever makes you happy. There shouldn’t be any fear of wearing the “wrong thing”, fear of not looking “general public approved” and fear of putting themselves out there and not having a positive response. You should be able to express yourself through your style without any fear or comments in the realm of ‘she’s asking for it’. 

With that being said I do think you should think twice what is “work appropriate“ if there is no assigned uniform. In one of my hospitality jobs we were given a tank top as an ‘uniform’ and whatever you wear it with was up to you.  So I wore it over a T-shirt or long sleeve shirt. Most, if not all  of the girls wore it with jeans or pants, but I didn’t think that was appropriate: on the part of our employer. Non of us were ‘asking for it’ nor did I judge girls who were comfortable wearing it on its own, but men dot regular T-shirt as their ‘uniform’. 

Then there are a couple of Netflix reality shows where people sell multimillion homes. Thought I love watching what the women ( who mostly look like real life versions of Barbie) wear outside workplace I do think taking a client to a property in super high hills they can often barely walk in, tiny skirts and crop tops (sure they’re all exclusive brands,but that’s hardly the point) may come across as unprofessional and in real life not being taken seriously. Don’t get me wrong, it’s reality tv gold, but maybe a wee bit much?  

To conclude this part: there is freedom in knowing and being authentic to who you are and if you’re feeling and looking good on your own terms you are winning!

*** ‘Vogue’ by Madonna