Weather you come to me as friend or a foe, I hope you get exactly what you need. Sometimes the things we want are purely out of living in a survival mode and we are made to think ‘if only you had…’ it would set you for life.
One of my acting teachers said once that after you strip all of that from people ( what our surroundings have made us believe we need for better/good life) we all want three things: to feel safe, free and loved. He was at that point teaching more than 20 years and as someone who has been part of organized religion, given and chosen families, many different kinds of schools, programs and exposed to all sorts of teachings and people, that was the one thing that really stayed with me. Now, you have to understand that my safe, free and loved may be different from yours, but the bottom line is the same. It wasn’t always easy to wish people well, especially when they have shown you time and again they would throw you under the bus if given an opportunity. Maybe that’s because it was always forced upon me to ‘forgive your enemies’ and it was just preached but not followed by example in real life. Once i heard it from an unexpected source and put in such a simple form, it really started to sink in. Have I been around long enough to see someone get run over with a karma bus and got a human satisfaction out of it? Absolutely! Would I ever try to track the bus and offer my directions? No. Did it take good amount of time to give my best wishes to those I know for a fact don’t wish the same for me? I’d go with: yes. Have I arrived? Not sure we ever fully do. Most, if not all of us are work in progress and not only is there nothing wrong with it, I believe it’s how it’s meant to be.
If you’re wondering like Jack Johnson : where all the good people go? I’d tell you to have a look around. Sometimes you grow up in less than favorable circumstances and for those of us who always had to fight for living it is sometimes hard to see the good in people. My visceral reaction until quite recently, was to see the bad and rotten in people. Not something I enjoy, but just how I got wired with nature and nurture. Through life and healing, I’ve learned to let go of a lot of that, but the journey is ongoing and not for the weak of heart. I have been both blessed and cursed in my life thus far. When you find ( or in some cases they find you) the good apple: hold on to them for dear life. Some were put in our life to test us, the rotten apples. Not everyone, myself included, deals with it in a healthy way and it’s sometimes hard to see the light. Sometimes you have to ask for help to get it and that’s another thing I have struggled with, because I was tough it was a sign of weakness. It is not! You can’t do it all by your lonesome,sometimes you just need a helping hand. If you don’t ask , people can’t read your mind and even though some might help they simply might not be aware of it.
If you wanna see a good example check out Trust, game of greed on Netflix. I was just having a conversation with a friend on how society treats men and women differently and how the expectations make us act differently. The women went into a offense mode from the very start and I didn’t trust men who turned out to be honest and truthful, most likely because that has not been my experience with people in general. There was one girl in particular I felt for : trailer park( her words) born kid and a girl. I understood her actions, because I too know what it’s like to walk on eggshells most of my life and having to justify why I’m just as good and deserving as the next person. No spoilers, not gonna say who and how many shared the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The reason why I think it’s a good watch is because there were people of all ages, walks of life, races and everyone was equal in the very beginning. It’s also aspiring and nice to see good, honest people who gave their word and actually lived what they preached. It’s also nice to see people who came from less than nothing becoming better people because they were seen, heard and treated well, maybe even for the first time in their lives. I’ll leave you with that regarding the show.
Like I mentioned earlier: wish people best! At the same time never let anyone disrespect you or try to walk over you! For reasons unknown to me I have always stood up for myself. Thinking back it just came natural, because there didn’t seam to be anyone else to do it. I’ve also been a bit of Don Quixote and fought for everyone and anyone who didn’t or felt like they couldn’t use their voice. It took years of unlearning that it’s not my place to fight for anyone who didn’t ask for my help. Do I still seek justice for anyone who’s been wronged? Yes. Do I act on it? Not anymore. If anyone was to ask for my help I’d do anything in my power to help, but otherwise, I’ll stay in my lane.
To sum up the moral of the story: if you’re a decent human being, not using your power, money and such to hurt people, not creating drama unless it’s for theater or big/small screen and just living your life without causing carnage I sincerely want you to have it all! And a little extra to all my fellow misfits who may not be in the place where they’re ready to give best wishes due to their past life experience: I hear you, I see you “And may the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows”.
*** ‘Have It All’ by Jason Mraz