Wishing mine and all other mothers out there a very happy Mother’s Day. It’s the hardest, most responsible, least acknowledged and least payed job out there. It’s not easy to raise a decent, never mind a good human being and there they are doing it since the beginning of time.
As I previously mentioned: I always knew I was not cut out for that job. People assume why some of us choose not to have children and I can speak only for myself, but there are same amount of reasons why somebody chooses not to as there are so many reasons why somebody else chooses to have them.
My mother is my only family and there were plenty of times when I know it was a very hard and difficult job for her. For start I am nothing like her: looks wise, beliefs wise, wants and needs wise, you name it and we differ. It has been and continues to be a relationship where we both invest in it, try to understand the other one and do our best to accept each other no matter the difference.
Mother is not only the person who births you or raises you, it’s also the person who stands by you no matter what. Through out my life I was lucky to come across several mother figures who understood parts of me my mother did not and filled in. I have great appreciation for all the good mother’s who came through for me when I needed them. It wasn’t that my mother lacked in motherly department, if anything she is the epitome of what a good mother should be: kind, understanding, available, domestic, hard working both at home and showing great work ethic, pretty much everything you’d want one to be. The basics were all covered, but as I mentioned, we are two very different people. There were some needs that were just not in her domain and it wasn’t for lack of trying. When I was seventeen I went to Canada to visit and stay with family friends, because I didn’t want to go to a school trip with a bunch of kids I didn’t like and didn’t like me much on a bus for a 24 hour drive. That trip introduced me to my Canadian mother from whom I have learned so much about so many things I couldn’t have even imagined. We too are very different, but there are things that she understood and lived through that showed me all kind of new possibilities and options. She is originally from London, lived for a minute in Yugoslavia and then made home in Canada. Due to unfortunate events concerning her daughter’s health, they didn’t get to explore Vancouver very much since moving there so we all did it together ( no google maps, no cellphones, old school way). I am still in touch with her and her daughter and the lessons I’ve learned from her are a big part of who I am. The other mother that has always showed up for me is my friend’s mother to whom I refer as ‘my other mother’. We are also very different on paper but her quiet empathy and compassion is something I never expected and always appreciated it. She’s someone I can call any time and talk for hours, someone who has raised a really good human and helps out with raising her wonderful two grandchildren. Her professional success is something to look up to and not many people know the real magnitude of it because it was done graceful and often in the shadows, without much advertising or any bragging. There are no words that can cover how grateful I am to have her in my life.
Also there are all my friends who have children and are raising simply wonderful, kind, respectful children and young adults. Thought I knew being mother is not in my cards, I’m very grateful and thankful to be a godmother and aunt ( by association) to all this good little humans.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, so I’d like to thank all the mothers, my friends who mother me when needed and specifically my mother for always showing up.
“Happy Mother’s Day” by Skyler Kaylyn