As we enter 2025 I will be treading lightly. It comes after a year I was very much doubting if I’ll get out of at all.
Year 2024 has beaten me up on every level. Each morning started with : to get up or give up? More often than not I gave up and stayed under the covers. It was obvious for some time now something has to change, but you can only change what you can control and there didn’t seem much that was under my control.
Last year I saw my mom after six years. It was a rather strange and painful experience. If you’re lucky to have loving parents and have them nearby you are also lucky to have time to prepare for them getting into their last act: older age. Six years of not being able to see my mom in person left me confused as to changes that had occurred in both of us. She is still very much active, alert,all the things I remember, but the cracks are starting to show. By that I don’t mean an extra wrinkle on her face but also in her behavior. Not gonna lie, I did get caught off guard by all of it. That was just a part of last year. I didn’t seem to be able to catch a break on any personal level and I assure you it’s not for lack of trying.
By the end of the year my living situation changed because I did have control over it. It wasn’t without its challenges but coming home to peace of mind is a whole new level of freedom. I’d like to use this opportunity to thank all of those who helped me with that transition and made it beyond smooth and easy.
Throughout the past year I kept coming across people who would tell me they were feeling same kind of way :stuck, defeated, angry, not in control of their own lives. Some of those people I connected with for the first time and learned a lot from our shared experiences, some I’ve known for a while and we took turns comforting and cheering each other on. Some people and places I have left in the year 2024 and some new and old friends I welcome into the new year with an open heart.
If you can relate to last year being difficult to say the least, you have my sympathy and understanding. Hope the start of this year with natural disaster is not a preview of things to come but just a leftover from the last year.
To everyone affected in it: this isn’t easy, and you don’t have to pretend like it is! You most definitely did not deserve it and I believe while you’re in a thick of it really is hard to see any good in this situation. Wishing everyone better things to come in this year!
*** ‘Fairytale Of New York’ by The Pogues