This words of advice come from a lifetime of experience on the subject,therefore I’m sadly overqualified on the subject. 

I don’t remember time in my life when I didn’t overthink every and any situation. Having a very vivid imagination didn’t help the cause, just made things a million times worse. Ever since I can remember (my first memory is from when I was around two years old and it’s not a pleasant one) I was aware that it can always be worse. Unfortunately it wasn’t my imagination that worked overtime, it was the circumstances of my upbringing. Whenever something bad was happening I could imagine at least five different scenarios of how bad it can get. That’s a lot to be put on a child. Sometimes I felt like I was inside a video game jumping over obstacles and saving everyone on the way while my energy was getting lower and every time it ends with losing another life. Eventually I’d get to the next level but it was just more obstacles, more difficult and almost no reward. 

When you’re growing up in an environment that constantly keeps you on your toes, you simply can’t be wired any other way but to be in a constant survival mode. Byproduct of overthinking is most often anxiety.  It simply feels like you’re running on a treadmill, breaking sweat and getting more tired by a second while standing on a same spot, while others seem to be moving past you in different speed but still moving forward while you’re stuck. 

Here are a few things I’d recommend trying if you feel overwhelmed, anxious, sad, depressed and exhausted, that worked for me. There are no guarantees in life so I strongly believe that one size does not fit all, but I was willing to try anything and these are just some of the things that did work. Dance! Not feeling it, no wonder you’re feeling down, but try it. You can’t be sad when you dance. The more you do it the more you’ll be distracted from whatever is making you sad or anxious. I’ve previously mentioned my experience at The Ellen show. First time I went was also the last season she still danced through the audience. There wasn’t a single person that was sitting down or not moving and nobody was watching how well or not the others were dancing. If you know me in real life you know I’m not a big fan of moving, exercising or anything of that nature, but dancing…I’ll dance like everyone’s watching at midnight by my lonesome and when I had space I used to hula hoop sometimes for over an hour. When I was younger I’d go to clubs just for the fun of dancing ( ok and dressing up). 

That’s the next thing on my list: dressing up! I lived for fashion, clothes, dressing up..the whole works! In the last couple of years I kind of given up on it a bit. Now I need an occasion to do it. Then a couple of months ago I came across IG account of a woman who preaches dressing up and showing up. She’s not wrong! Even though I gave in to casual wear I enjoy watching her putting her energy every day into putting on an outfit and accessories and if the only occasion is leaving a house to go meet someone put a little effort and you will see the difference. 

Another thing that has completely changed my life is yoga. Not for everyone, I understand, but if you don’t try you will never know. Before I started yoga classes if someone told me I’d never miss a class in 3 years I would have them committed. It was tailored for me because it was rather slow paced, nobody is competing with anyone, nobody cared what you wore to the class, we were all there to move a little, learn a little and feel better at least for an hour. Also I choose to do it, nobody made me try it or once I did to continue going. As I’ve mentioned before I was brought up in organized religion and it never felt completely right and I think in my case it was because it was forced upon me. Originally I was doing yoga in daily life, but once I came to US I learned there are all sorts of yoga classes. Like I said: I’ll try anything that could potentially make me feel better and I landed on antigravity yoga. Don’t knock it till you try it. 

Then there’s good old therapy.  It’s a process, that almost killed me before I found a right fit in a therapist and psychiatrist. There was one therapist that was definitely not fit for the job; after seeing him I wanted to go to the nearest bridge and jump. But he was prescribing me medication and I figured since I don’t have health insurance let me at least get the right medication since he was useless for anything else. He put me on anything and everything and it just didn’t work. It was like being in situationship: should be going somewhere but only one of us is trying so we’re not moving forward. Luckily I found a way to get good and affordable help and I’m with that therapist to this day.  

Then I recently came across an interview with a woman who just wrote a book ‘Beyond Anxiety Exercises and Toolkit’, Martha Beck. She said that opposite of anxiety is creativity and I never made that connection but once I heard her talk about it and giving examples it made perfect sense. When I write, act, take any kind of creative class there’s never a trace of anxiety. If you are interested in the exercises and tools she talks about I strongly suggest if not getting a book at least listen to her interview or two. She does have education in several fields but most importantly wast life experience in things going terribly wrong and how she bounced back. 

For the last recommendation I’m suggesting to start using ‘Let Them Theory’! The next time you feel left out, because your friends all went out together and didn’t invite you: Let them. Or the person you’re dating doesn’t want to commit : Let them! If people dear to you want to go weeks without talking to you: Let them! If people are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be:Let them! If they want to judge you or gossip about you: Let them! We ( the over thinkers) spend too much time and energy trying to control other people and getting emotionally worked up over things that are beyond our control. So if you just sit back and Let them, people will reveal who they truly are and once they do then you can choose what and who is right for you. So…Let them!

*** ‘Cosmic Dancer’ by T. Rex